I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
