Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
