There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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