I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Randomize
