I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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