im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
