So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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