Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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