this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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