at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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