He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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