that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
