its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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