Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
