ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
