your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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