I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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