i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
