help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
