Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
