oh god the rape fog is back!
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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