oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I intend to get homeless drunk
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize