Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Randomize
