i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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