She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
