im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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