Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
