Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
