Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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