Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
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I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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