how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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