RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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