he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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