When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
