You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
