WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
