God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
