I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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