Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
