I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
