he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
