My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
