I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
