Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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