I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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