I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
