Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
