Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
