i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
