Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
