whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
