Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
