Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We left an ass print on the piano.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
