I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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