I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
You may now shotgun with the bride
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
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