too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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