how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
