What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
