I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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