And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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