so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
