omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
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Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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