Banned from zoo.
Again?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
