Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
