Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
