Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
