yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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