i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
