cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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